When someone sits down and they tells you that life is a roller coaster, listen to them. They know what they are talking about. Life is certainly a journey. It is a path that you have no control over. Luck, love, destiny, and fate control your life. You just have to hold on and enjoy the ride. I feel like I have been through the ringer and went a complete circle. You think your life is going one way. But in all reality it heads the total opposite direction. The past two years have been insane. I have become a different person. I have experienced a completely different lifestyle and became the most independent person I have ever been. I can honestly say that right now I am the woman that I have always wanted to be. Every aspect of my life is set, except for career wise, but that will come in time. This I know for sure.
I have had someone I n my life completely reach out to me and tell me something that I Have been waiting 2 years to hear. “I’m excited about feeling normal again and doing what makes me feel good and what is right, which is being with you.” Bamm. Just like that my whole world changed. I sat in a hotel room and cried. I didn’t cry because I was sad, I cried because I was happy. I know this time around its going to be completely different. We are adults now, we know what we want, we have been out there dating, meeting new people and realize what we knew the first time around, we are completely meant to be together. This time around I am a stronger person, I am a confident person and I am someone that will be the girlfriend that he deserves to have. I just pray and hope that he is willing to make the changes too to have a solid relationship. If he is committed he will, and if he doesn’t, than I know that I can walk away and be okay.
So I sit here in Waco, all by myself at a work conference. I am seriously about to fall asleep. I am going to these conferences for a certification that I have to obtain. The funny thing about it thought, is that every topic that they bring up, DOESN’T RELATE TO ME! I sooo want to crawl into bed right now and fall asleep. What doesn’t help is that I have self diagnosed myself with ADD. I can’t focus on one thing at all and I think that is what had made me out to be a worry wort. I’ll start one thing and an hour later I have picked up or touched about three or four other projects. Good lord! What am I going to do with a house! I am sitting here and I can’t stop moving. I have bitten off all my nails, all I can think about it when am I eating next and why the hell Is my phone acting up. It’s going to meet a wall pretty soon at a high velocity rate! It is a piece of shit. Holy Crap! I thought the Android was suppose to be the high tech phone out there. I hate it! And somehow I just managed to figure out that my messages don’t work, I can’t even see the ones that I am sending out. Now, by phone won’t even turn on. Now I have to find a sprint store close to have all this fixed before I go to Corpus Christi tomorrow. I hope going to the store is not a headache. I hope I can simply walk in there, tell them “I have to walk out with a working phone” and let them work their magic! And just like that Sprint has become GOD in my world….well for the moment. I successfully drove back to my hotel with a working phone….well a working phone with no contacts! Sucka!
